Q: Your way of looking at things and your way of thinking looks similar to mine! So happy that there are more people who think so much about there feelings and stuff. I'm going to college next year too! Haha for editing and for filming! Only thing is that I don't know if I passed my exams well.. I'm so scared right now, I already messed up my next year (kind of) because I started talking to a guy..he is going to that school too and I liked him (but didn't know him) and my friends said that I had to add him on fb and talk to him.. so I did.. but now he sees me as a girl who can't shut her mouth for 2 minutes and keeps asking questions.. and he probably comes into my new class and now I'm sooo scared! I feel so awkward.. :( At the same time I've been depressed and I was scared to leave the house because of what other people would think of me. Now I had my first job and they said I was nothing.. and that I couldn't do anything right. It just nocked me in the ground ones again. I'm not the most social person on the world and I'm trying so hard to talk to people I don't know. But when I do that I get a red face and I start shaking because it's a fear of me to talk to others I don't know. I understand now why life is so hard. I constantly want control but I can't have control all the time. I regret everything I do so hard that it keeps me awake every night...I don't know why I'm telling you all this stuff, but because of your description I got a feeling that you might understand everything I say.. I hope so and maybe you have some tips for me? Because I'm probably going to freak out next year if I'm going to college.. omgg LOL this is so long.. oops.. whahahaha sorry if it bores you :P I just had to get it of my chest.

-JillProductionZz

A:

You're too sweet! And don't even worry about it :) It's lovely to be able to relate to other people like this, so thank YOU for sharing!
I think that this time in our lives we are so susceptible to being other people's projections. We've hardly figured out who we are and who we want to be and people are already trying to tell us how to act, how to be, how to talk... etc. I used to feel (and sometimes still do) like I didn't have control over this either, but that's only bc I LET other people and what I think their opinions are determine how I act and how I think of myself... which leaves me only with insecurity (which as we both know is the worst feeling in the world! especially with college on the horizon) I know it's difficult to tell yourself "not to worry what others think" but I can assure you that as soon as you do and as soon as you begin to act truly as yourself and not how you THINK you should act based on others opinions... that not only will you like yourself more but others won't be able to assume control over you bc they'll appreciate that you're truly confident in who YOU are. This took me so long to learn but as I'm trying it more and more, I'm happier with myself and it seems like others judge me less and I judge myself less. Confidence is attractive to people, and girl you have every reason to be confident! As long as it's YOU that you're confident about (not someone fake that you feel you should be)
And the only reason why you're regretting things is bc you're not letting yourself do these things, you're letting who you think you should be do these things. I have trouble with acting like a chameleon myself, but like I said ... the more you spend time really trying to be yourself (even if this takes some time spent alone with yourself) the easier it will be. Andd the easier it will be to talk to people... and moreover.. go to college and feel GOOD! Ok enough of my blabber but I hope this helped just a little bit at least. Just know you're not alone! EVERYONE I can promise you, has gone through and dealt with this exact same thing. But in a couple of years you'll have wondered why you ever were worrying about this bc it'll be a thing of the past :) good luck girl!